Probably not something that I would talk about publicly. It’s one of those things that you kind of keep to yourself and pretend that it’s all ok.
However, it’s been on mind for sometime now and I reckon I’m not the only one.
You know … we’ve been married for 17 years this month that’s a long, long time (remember how long it took to GET to 17 years old!!).
We’ve got ourselves the same routine, the same old same old – day in, day out.
The disagreements about who’s turn it is.
About it never being enough.
About it not being satisfied and fulfilled About it being predictable and not spontaneous.
Reluctantly and probably from time to time resentfully, one of us takes control and makes it happen.
The schedules come out, the co-ordinating of kids and where they are and when they’ll be back and the plans start to unfold.
Anything to bring back the peace and keep satisfaction levels high.
But like I said … over the last few weeks it’s been more so on my mind than ever. My imagination has sometimes got away from me in those rare quiet moments having a glass of wine. Thoughts about stepping up my game, spicing it up a bit – totally flipping it around.
I’m telling you … I’m not going to make sound all love and roses people. 17 years of it – it really does get predictable and honestly … boring (I may or may not have had an eye roll here while typing.)
You probably know me pretty well by now and when I get an idea in my head (ok…project) there’s no stopping me (look out Jono!!). So off I went for some research with my trusty research assistant Dr Google (don’t go getting all prim and proper on me, I bet you’ve done it too!)
Tell me Dr Google, what are other 40 plus women are doing in their relationships? A bit of Google, Facebook and Netflix and I knew I’d be ‘bringing it’. That Netflix show called ‘you, me, her’? Well that got me thinking about bringing in a third party.
What??!! What the actual f*ck I hear you say?!
But you know what? One of us has to stand up here for all of you 40+ year olds looking to bring a bit of spice back into your lives!
And here’s the thing… for something that was soooooooo boring and predictable … I actually started a spark, some excitement was starting to brew, there was hope – there is another way!! There is another way to bring this old boring, mundane routine back to life.
So back online I went, found the site, handed over the money and received my order confirmation — When I pressed that button I was a bit nervous. Should I tell Jonathon or surprise him? With a nervious giggle, a little excited hand clapping I decided to keep it a surprise.
Research. Solution. Delivery in 5 days. Relationship back (fingers crossed!).
And then life went back to ‘normal’ for a little bit and it all kind of went to the back of my mind as life continued around me. Kids to look after, pets to feed, household to run … you know the drill.
And then … in the very early hours of Monday morning, while we were still sleeping in bed I heard a noise outside … a delivery van perhaps? And then I heard a parcel dropped by the door and the delivery guy stepping trekking back down the front stairs through garden and out the gate.
I wonder what that is? Oh… that must be the book I ordered or maybe it’s the new fairy lights we ordered off Ebay. It was enough to get me out of bed a little earlier and start the day with the usual … shower, tea, High Vibes @ 5:55 and then off to the gym.
I grabbed my keys and water bottle, opened the front door to see …
The brown box.
Why do these things come in brown boxes?!
And then in the blink of an eye, it all came rushing back (I know it was only 5 days, but I had completely forgotten about it)… flashing before my eyes…
The arguing, the tension, the boredom, the looking for something new, surfing the internet, keeping it a secret, making the purchase.
And there she was, in all her glory staring at me. Longing for me to pick her up and take her inside.
But, she was going to have to wait. I was late for the trainer and had to go. It was alright though. No one would be up by the time I got back so I could deal with it then.
Off to the gym and then back (a little earlier than usual because I was so excited and a little nervous that someone would get up early). Skipping up the stairs I go, smile beaming, heart beating to see … the box … gone … shit!! Has someone stolen it?!?
Uh oh … has some little bugger got up already?! Only today, only TODAY that would happen!!
As I put the key into the door I could hear rustling on the other side. Sounded like… sounded like a box being opened!! I could here ALL of them!! Jonathon AND 3 children … like it was Christmas morning!!
“Take a breath… you’ll be able to work your way out of this one,” I tried to convince myself.
I opened the door and there they all were … ‘what is this?!’
I couldn’t contain myself.
My excitement just took over and I kind of rummaged (ok ok gently pushed aside my children) my way through them to get to the box, desperate to see inside.
And oh… my… god… MY TOTAL DREAM RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF MY EYES!!!
YES !! YES !! YES !! (thanks for the memories Meg Ryan)
Four brown parcels and a strange silver bubble wrapped one.
I squealed with delight, clapping my hands jumping up and down — It did feel like Christmas actually.
There it was … all laid out in front of me.
Our meals for the next 4 days.
Jonathon. Me. And Marley Spoon. The three of us. In it together and loving it.
Bringing a third relationship into our marriage has been awesome. My 12 year old is first in the kitchen to cook every night on her own. The recipes are really easy to understand. No more steak and 3 veg from Jonathon!! He can whip up a Pepper-Crusted Lamb with Roast Parsnips and Beetroot Sauce – ALL BY HIMSELF!!
Spice it up. Bring back the love and joy at dinner time.
Oh and there’s an added bonus – guess what we have MORE TIME for now?!!!!!!
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